Department of Family and Community Services Legal Aid NSW - Best for Kids :: For Parents - When Families Separate
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When Families Separate

Separation is a major step for everyone. How you handle a separation is very important because of the effect it will have not only on you, but also on your children.

The first video looks at issues about sharing care of the children after separation and the rights of children to a safe parenting environment and to having a good relationship with both parents.

If you live in a rural or remote area, spending time with your children after a separation or divorce can be a challenge. The second video looks at ways to access help and services when you live in a rural or remote area, as well as handy tips and ideas on ways to deal with separation.

Helpful links and information can be found in the speech bubbles and at the bottom of this page.

Parenting after separation

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Sports Ground (Junior Soccer) - Day

A busy Saturday morning sports field. Junior soccer teams everywhere. We see Dad with Matthew. Dad is helping tie the boot laces.

Dad:

Don't be afraid to get in there all right. Just because they look big doesn't mean they're tough.

Matt:

Dad, could I go to soccer camp.

Dad:

Course you can. I already signed you up.

Matt:

But Mum says I can't.

Dad:

Why would she say that?

Matt:

Cause she wants to visit Aunt Evelyn.

Dad:

During the holiday week?

Matt:

We're going to stay with them on the farm.

Dad:

Is that right? Well she doesn't know you're the next Messi. Does she? aye? Off you go. I'll fix it.

Matt runs off to join the team. Dad thinks about the conversation. He dials a number on his phone. We can see he's angry.

The back of a car - In the sports park - Daytime

Nonna and Sara are sitting in the back reading a book together.

Dad walks up to the car. Nonna notices that Dad's bothered by something.

Nonna:

What's wrong?

Dad:

Just had a conversation with the Erica...

Nonna:

What about?

Dad:

She won't let Matt do the camp. I'm sick of it!

Nonna:

Son, you've got just as much right as she has. She has never worked a day in her life, and all she thinks about is herself. She never thinks about these kids.

We see that little Sara listens to the angry comments about her mother.

Nonna:

Go to the family court. Get them to give you equal time. Then at least you've got some control.

We hear Dad thinking...

Dad:

It wasn't just the thing about the soccer camp. We'd been fighting for years over all sorts of issues. I felt it was time to draw a line in the sand. I wanted to be a dad to my kids. Not just the weekend supervisor.

Outside mum's house - Day

Mum walks from the car to the house, carrying groceries. Matt and Sarah are in school uniforms.

Mum:

Get your bags please...

Mum stops to read a letter from the post box. We hear her thoughts...

Mum (voice over):

First I heard of it is when I got a letter from a lawyer he'd talked to. I mean we'd had this big fight over Matthew and the fact that I wouldn't let him go to soccer camp, but I didn't think he'd go to court.

Doco style interview

We see mum talking to camera. (a continuation of her thoughts we were listening to in the previous scene).

Mum (to camera interview):

I mean, how's he going to look after Sarah if he has her 4 days a week? He just leaves her with his mum half the time. And now she's started pre-school. I mean how is that supposed to work?

Dad's lawyer's office - Day

Dad is talking to a private family law practitioner.

Dad:

So can I get equal time with the kids? Like a proper 50/50 split?

Lawyer 1:

Well a lot of parents think that they can share care of the kids on a 50/50 basis. But its doesn't always work out like that.

Family Law is not about the rights of either parent. It's about the rights of children, to a safe parenting environment and to having a good relationship with both parents. The Court might make an order for 50/50 time or it might decide on a very different arrangement - something that neither parent is happy with.

But if there's a lot of conflict - the court's less likely to make an order for equal time. They'll be focusing on what's best for the children.

Legal Aid reception - Day

Mum arrives at Legal Aid Reception.

Mum:

I want to see someone about a Family Law issue.

My husband is going to court to get the kids. I want to get some legal advice.

Interview room Legal Aid office - Day

Mum discusses options with a Legal Aid Lawyer.

Legal Aid Lawyer:

Now before you get to a hearing in a court, in most cases parties are required to try a mediation. At Legal Aid, you can have a lawyer to assist you, if you want. So if you qualify for a grant of aid, there will be a lawyer with you at the mediation.

Mum:

To be honest, I don't think mediation is going to achieve much. I was really hoping that the Courts could talk some common sense in to him about what's best for the kids. He works shifts, you know. Realistically he can't look after them.

Legal Aid Lawyer:

Well mediation is a good way to for you to step through those issues and to come up with a plan that can really work for the kids.

Dad's lawyer's office - Day

Dad:

We tried mediation once before - we were having problems, and she booked us into a couple of mediation sessions.

Lawyer 1:

That was probably relationship counselling. Which is quite different.

Dad:

Yeah, well it didn't work.

Lawyer 1:

Family mediation is a dispute resolution process that focuses on you and your partner resolving practical issues in relation to your parenting and working out what's best for your children. You have to put the children first, and if do come to an agreement, you can ask the court to make an order which is binding and enforceable.

Dad:

And if we can't?

Lawyer 1:

Then we can apply to the Family Courts and ask a judge to decide.

Background scene of a courtroom.

int. Doco style interview

Dad talks to Camera (interview style).

Dad (to camera):

The lawyer explained some of the pros and cons of going to Court. Sometimes you can spend a lot of time and money and end up worse off. If you let the Court decide, you have to accept the referee's decision. So as bad as things were getting between Erica and me, it made sense to try mediation.

---END---

END NOTES:

This story and the characters in it are made-up and not based on any actual people or their situation.

For more information about this video visit www.bestforkids.org.au

The information in this video is a general guide to the law. It should not be relied on as legal advice and it is recommended you talk to a lawyer about your particular situation. At the time of production, the information shown is correct but may be subject to change.

If you need legal help or referral contact: LawAccess NSW on 1300 888 529 or www.lawaccess.nsw.gov.au.

Copyright Legal Aid NSW August 2011.

Produced by eegenda.

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Rural and regional families

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Rural and regional families: dealing with challenges after separation or divorce

Acoustic guitar plays

A man walks out of the front door of a rural property and walks along a veranda towards the camera. He walks along the red dirt of his driveway and towards a four-wheel drive parked on an embankment near a water tank. He drives along dirt roads and into town. As he drives he presents this video.

Male speaker:

Separation is a difficult time for everyone, no matter where you live. Everyone’s experience is different. You might think it’s harder living in a regional area, and maybe for some people it is, however there are services out there to assist you with how you’re feeling emotionally, to help you sort out issues with your former partner, and others that can provide legal advice or information. If you have children you might be thinking, “What about them, what should we be doing?” Wherever you are in Australia, the most important consideration when making decisions about children is the best interests of the child. When figuring out what is in the best interests of your child and what arrangements might work for them, you and your former partner will need to think about things such as: Will the children have to move schools? Will they be far away from friends and family? Will they have to travel to spend time with each parent and how would this work—how would travelling impact on them? If one parent’s time with the children needs to be supervised, what options are available, and are there ways to keep in touch with the children when they’re with the other parent?

A man and a woman stand between two cars in a car park. Their young daughter looks up between them.

Vision cuts back to the man driving through town in his four-wheel drive.

Male speaker:

Now, after a separation, one or both people may want to move, perhaps to access job opportunities or to be closer to extended family. This can be significant in Australia as even moving one town apart can mean a fair distance between houses. Many people in this situation are able to sort out arrangements that work well for their family and are practical and affordable. If your concern about what a move away might mean for your children, it is a good idea to seek legal advice. If you and your former partner end up living far away from one another, think of some ways of keeping in touch with your children when they are with the other parent.

The four-wheel drive passes a man in a black T-shirt. He walks down his driveway and smiles as he removes an A4 envelope from the letterbox. He opens the envelope and smiles again when he sees it contains photos of his children at the beach.

Male speaker:

You could work out a regular time to phone them or make online video calls and write letters or emails. If you don’t have the internet at home, ask around to find out where you can get access. You can start with your local library. You can also arrange to have copies of school reports and notices posted to you.

The vision shows the man in the black T-shirt sitting at an outside table and talking to his three children via his webcam and laptop. He holds the photos of the beach in his hands.

Vision cuts back to the four-wheel drive travelling down a long dirt road.

Male speaker:

There are various factors you need to keep an eye on to make sure your child is alright. Research shows the level of conflict between parents following a separation has a major impact on how children cope with their parents separating. If parents end up living a large distance from each other, children may feel sad about not seeing both parents as regularly as they used to. Also, it can be distressing feeling like everyone in town knows your business. Counselling or other support services may be of benefit to children during this time. You can also encourage them to establish their own support networks with friends and extended family.

A woman leans up against a wooden fence beside a paddock. She holds a white piece of paper in her hand and reads thoughtfully before looking up at two horses standing under a tree in the paddock.

Male speaker:

If there is property involved, you might be asking, “How do we decide who gets what?” and “What’s fair?” The process for working out property issues is pretty much the same everywhere in Australia. Sometimes where you live or the type of property you have can make a difference. If you have a farm or a business there may be some specific considerations to think about.

Vision cuts back to the four-wheel drive travelling along a country road.

Male speaker:

The best thing to do is to seek legal advice as soon as possible because there are time limits involved with property issues and, often, the longer you leave it the more complicated it can become. If you need assistance with children or property issues, or emotional or practical support, there are a variety of services that you can access. These include counselling, parenting and financial courses, legal advice and information and assistance for those living with family and domestic violence. When separating from a partner it is a good idea to get legal advice from someone who practices in the area of family law. There are some free or low-cost legal services offered by Legal Aid and community legal centres, as well as private lawyers. To assist you and your former partner with working through the issues arising out of separation, Family Relationship Centres can provide you with family dispute resolution. This is a process where a qualified and independent person helps you to discuss issues and agree on solutions. While most people sort out their property and children’s issues without going to court, the Family Court is there to assist if you need help.

The four-wheel drive passes a woman walking along the footpath and into a building. The camera follows her inside as she asks a question to an older lady standing at the front desk of a community service centre. The vision shows the two women talking amicably and standing in front of a wall of pamphlets.

Vision returns to the man travelling in the four-wheel drive.

Male speaker:

So, if you would need some assistance, where do you go? Some areas have a large number of services nearby. It may be as simple as walking in the door of your closest community service and asking them to direct you to what you need. Sometimes you may need to look a bit further to find what you’re looking for. If you’re unsure where to begin, go online or call Legal Aid. If the service you would like to use isn’t in your local area, it won’t always be possible for you to engage with them face to face, however, there are a variety of options for connecting service providers. You might not even have to leave the house. For example, some Family Relationship Centres offer services over the phone or by video link. Some also provide an outreach service, meaning they come to you or a town nearby. Many information services have good online resources or can post information out to you. Other services can provide advice including legal advice over the phone or by video link.

Vision shows of a woman sitting at an outdoor setting and talking on the phone. A man in a suit and tie sits in an office cubicle with a headpiece on. He puts brochures into an A4 envelope. Vision shows the woman sitting on a couch and opening the envelope and looking through the brochures.

The camera cuts back to the four-wheel drive travelling along a country road.

Male speaker:

One issue that can come up more frequently when seeking legal advice outside of the metropolitan area is conflict of interest. A conflict of interest may occur in various ways: perhaps the lawyer is a friend of your family; your former partner may have already been to see the lawyer about a legal matter; the lawyer may have a close working relationship with people in your area and could not act for you without people thinking they were biased. Don’t be offended if a lawyer is unable to act for you. They are required by their professional rules not to act where there is, or may appear to be, a conflict of interest. Conflicts also occur with other services providers. If a conflict does occur, they won’t be able to tell you the reason for the conflict but they can give you information about how to access another service or will organise a referral for you. If you need to access the Family Court, there are registries in every capital city in Australia. Judges also travel to some regional areas on a circuit. Alternatively, if the Family Court is too far from where you live, you can send in your Family Court documents by post or you may be able to make your family law application at the closest magistrates court. However, not all issues can be dealt with at the magistrates court and your matter may be transferred to the Family Court. If this happens and you are unable to travel to the Family Court, then you can arrange to attend by phone or video link. Family law advice can help you decide whether or not to commence Family Court proceedings and which option is best for you. Sometimes matters are so urgent there isn’t time to ask the court for help through the usual process. If something is very urgent, you may be able to send your application to the court request an urgent hearing and then attend by telephone. It’s best to get legal advice before doing this. You could call Legal Aid as a starting point. They may be able to advise you or refer you to someone who can assist. If something crucial comes up, out of business hours, that cannot wait until the next day, you can call the court and, in exceptional circumstances, they may be able to arrange a hearing out of hours.

The man in the four-wheel parks the car in a car park and walks away from the vehicle as he slings a backpack over one shoulder. Vision shows him standing in front of a projector and giving a presentation to a small room of people. The contact details for Victoria Legal Aid are shown behind him on the screen.

Male speaker:

There are many regional services providing support and assistance for people affected by separation. Don’t delay—explore the options available to you sooner rather than later. It’s worth the effort. Coming here today you have already taken an important first step.

---END---

END NOTES:

The information in these films is a general guide to the law. You should not rely on these films as legal advice. It is recommended you talk to a lawyer about our particular situation. © 2012 Legal Aid WA.

If you need legal help or referral, contact: Law Access NSW 1300888529 or www.lawaccess.nsw.gov.au

The information in this video is a general guide to the law. It should not be relied on as legal advice and it is recommended you talk to a lawyer about your particular situation. At the time of production, the information shown is correct but may be subject to change.

This film has been adapted from resources produced by the Legal Aid WA When separating project. Legal Aid NSW thanks Legal Aid WA for permission to reproduce this content. This information is copyright. All persons or organisations wanting to reproduce this material should get permission from Legal Aid WA

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Click on a topic to see more information

Image Map Separation Grandparents Family violence Child support Family law

Kids in care

Care and protection law is about protecting the safety, welfare and wellbeing of children, when the Department of Family and Community Services (FACS) thinks kids need protection from neglect or abuse.

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Grandparents

Family law recognises that relationships with grandparents can be important for children.

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Family Violence

Family violence is also called domestic violence. When children see, hear, or are a victim of family violence, it can have a big impact on their mental and physical health.

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Child Support

Whether you are together, separated or if you never lived together, you have an obligation to financially support your children.

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Family Law

Family law is the area of law that deals with issues like your children, divorce and your property.

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Care and protection law is about protecting the safety, welfare and wellbeing of children, when the Department of Family and Community Services (FACS) thinks kids need protection from neglect or abuse.

The Children's Court website has information about care and protection, going to court, and dispute resolution.

Legal Aid has 6 factsheets about Kids in Care and provides services in care and protection

(Aboriginal related issue)The Aboriginal Legal Service has a care and protection service and care and protection information

(Aboriginal related issue)Legal aid has information for Aboriginal carers and families

Family violence is also called domestic violence. When children see, hear, or are a victim of family violence, it can have a big impact on their mental and physical health.

Are You Experiencing Domestic Violence?
Find out how Legal Aid NSW can help.

Domestic Violence Legal Service is a specialised legal service for women experiencing domestic violence.

The Domestic Violence Practitioner Service has lawyers paid by Legal Aid NSW at many NSW courts to assist women and children experiencing domestic violence.

Family Law Courts.
This page explains what family violence is and how it affects others.

Domestic Violence Line 1800 656 463.
Anyone experiencing domestic violence, anywhere in NSW, can call the Domestic Violence Help Line toll free. This number is staffed every day of the year, 24 hours a day.

Family law is the area of law that deals with issues like your children, divorce and your property.

Family Law Frequently Asked Questions
Answers questions about your family, your children and your property.

LawAccess Online is a free telephone service that provides legal information, advice and referrals.

Family Law Courts - Parenting cases - the best interests of the child explains what the Courts have to consider when making parenting orders.

Whether you are together, separated or if you never lived together, you have an obligation to financially support your children.

Legal Aid NSW's Child Support Service can help both paying and carer parents with child support matters.

(Aboriginal related issue)See information about Legal Aid services and child support services for Aboriginal people

The Child Support Agency website provides information about support services and child support options for parents and carers.

Family law recognises that relationships with grandparents can be important for children.

Are you a grandparent?
Your legal questions answered

Family Relationships Online has information and advice about family relationship issues. You will also find services that may be able to help.

Raising Grandchildren Network is a resource for grandparents, relatives and kinship carers.

The Federal Circuit Court provides information, details for support people and services for grandparent and other family-member carers

Helpful Links

Useful Publications

Other Videos & Resources

  • What's the Law: This photo-story has information about family law for people developing their English language skills.
  • This Sesame Street video is a great way to explain separation and divorce to young children.
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